19 Year Old Human Girl.

At the back of my mind I knew Savvie and Zuri were right,I mean it was too sudden and that was not me at all. Then again my friend’s opinions were not reason enough to close my heart on Tim and just ignore what I felt. This was the first time feeling this way and I loved every bit of it. Like how could just one person make you feel complete,happy and motivated in a span of three months. There was no way I’d let it all slip.

“Finally,this has to be it,I love every corner and the finishes are mind-blowing. See,you could set up a dining table right here and there goes the living room all lit up from the briar. Your kitchen is so beautiful and you don’t have to spent much on interiorsome,it has in built shelves.” I said moving up and down the house. “She’s happy,is she your girlfriend?” the owner of the house asked Tim,I was right at the first corner. “I know right? She’s extremely happy,makes this feel like home already,”with a smudge on his face replied Tim. “So are you together?”  “Ummh,I wish that was so sir but we’re just good friends.” “A tip from an old man,girls love aggressive guys so go ahead and ask her unless you wanna stay in the zone forever.” “Thank you sir,I’ll sure do that,” laughed out Tim.

As soon as their convoy was over,I felt safe to come out of my eve’s dropping mission. “What were you talking about? Tell me you’re taking the house Tim,” I asked obviously pretending to be clueless. “Well, sure I will Liz. Besides if I don’t,who knows,it might result to loosing you too. Sir,why do ladies act so petty especially towards us guys?” “We should talk about that and much more over tea son,” the old man said blinking as he finalized the deal and left. Meanwhile I was amused at the fact that he was so fatherly towards Tim considering how he (Tim) never talked much about his dad. I won’t lie,it seemed I looked forward to Tim moving in more than he did or so it seemed so.

“Tell me about your dad.” Asking this, I could swear that I expected an avalanche of responses. “What about him and why the sudden interest.” “I don’ know,poll everything,you barely talk about him.”  “There’s not so much about him except the fact that he’s my father,a very uncompromising and strict human who thinks he got it all. Let’s not spoil the moment with incuincity Liz,I hope that’s enough.” “Sure,” I said unconvincingly. “Listen Liz,I want a home,one people will want to come running back to,I want to feel that for once in my life.” I was known all over to be inquincitive but this time I knew too well not to go on with my questions. I guess I understood where Tim was coming from.

My twentieth birthday was coming up in two weeks but at the same time I was very busy preparing for my end year exams. I had to ace them,my parents put a lot of sacrifice into our(my siblings’ and mine) for me to disappoint them. On to my birthday,I never fancied parties and all that stuff so I wasn’t anticipating any of that. All I wanted was to spend my big day with my family and close friends….Turns out someone gave me just that……FB_IMG_15332288617383691

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The Year Step out of your “Feelings”

20190107_120302-1.jpgAllow me to first talk a little bit about myself. So,I grew up in a family where we were allowed to be open about our thoughts,expressive about how we feel on different events and most of all contribute to family decisions. I think that contributed alot to me knowing what I really wanted in life and speak out in a way that is not going to intimidate anyone but at the same time get my point home. I can freely say NO and mean it and the same time agree a hundred percent without fear that I might have made a mistake. And people are always asking,”Are you sure you don’t want that? Or can’t you compromise or What can I do to stand for what I want like you do?

It’s 2019,it’s a new year. You’re expecting to get rich this year,you’re expecting he’ll propose or maybe you’ll be graduating this year. OR. There’s no way you’d get any money this year, there’s no way any man could ever look at you twice or there’s no way you’ll be able to start or go back to school this year. First of all,let me remind you that,”a man maketh his plans but the execution belongs to the Lord.”  Its a new year,I have so much content to write for you guys,I have all the titles in my small note book but trust you me I couldn’t find the perfect one to begin the year with. I even had to go before God and ask for inspiration to start the year and I was like, “Dad,I need something more,something that’s gonna make an impact on someone but mostly I need to write something that will inspire me too.” After a few days I got the answer,I just have to be me,write what is inside my heart and what inspires me most.

A strong family man once said that there are two phases in someone’s life: one,you feel like your life is on truck and you’ve got everything figured out and stuff and two,you feel messed up and totally confused in other words you are a wreck! But the key word is “feel” and it’s okay to “feel”. I mean everyone is entitled to different emotions especially if they are about your life. The astonishing painful truth is that we let what we “feel” get to us and destroy us. That’s why people get depressed by the way,because of the “feel”. I feel I am not enough,I feel like I should try,maybe,I feel like I do not wanna do this. What you feel,has nothing to do with who you are darling,not even an ounce of what you are capable of.

In my life,countless of times I have felt like God has abandoned me,I have put aside things that I felt were too big for me and most of all I have walked out of opportunities because either way I felt like they were not for me. And mahn do I regret these episodes,,with all of my being. But what I tell my brother is that,”a mistake without a lesson is just another mistake but a mistake with a lesson is growth”. This year,we need to learn to get out of our feelings. Let it be it’s either you want or you do not want….not that you feel you want or you feel like you do not want. It does not matter what anyone else thinks about your decisions and what you want in life,they are not you anyway. There’s nothing as attractive as a man or a woman who has stepped out of the “feeling phase” and knows exactly what they want. It does not matter if life brings us a better offer because we certainly will not fall for it if it’s not what we want. Above all, I pray this year brings lots of happiness to you and yours..

LOVE, LIZZIE’S MUSINGS

 

 

 

Ain’t no flower guy.

When I started dating a certain guy,let’s call him S,well it was long time ago,he made it clear to me that he doesn’t buy flowers. So,I should brace myself to never expect flowers. I also told him I don’t polish shoes,not then not ever. But him not being a flower guy took me by utter surprise,I mean,why would any guy not want to get his girlfriend flowers?……S please explain.

“Liz,honestly,I feel like I’m buying condoms and I swear it’s the most soul-draining thing anyone can put them self through. There is always a motherly figure standing behind you in a queue as you place your purchase,trying very hard to pretend that she can’t see what you’re buying. She will be eye judging you even if you are an adult and you deserve to have sex. If you are at the supermarket,the till attendants leave you in full glare of the hundreds of people behind you to see haw randy you are. And that’s exactly why no one walks into the supermarket to buy condoms.  It is painful. You women should also learn to get them…”But why not,it’s also in my hands,I can take charge and I would not care what everyone else thinks,”I grumble.

Anyway,as I was saying,buying flowers and buying condoms are the same thing. People shoot judgemental looks but women flash a certain look that is very encouraging,like you are a white unicorn. Guys! Oh guys on the other hand look at you like you are weak,sold out,completely whipped or naive. Like you had developed an embarrassing illness,the one you cannot even tell your mother about. Some even look at you with empathy and assume that you must have done something wrong that earned you a slot in the dog’s house and you have to flower yourself out.

Then again,but even before you get to the looks,most of us are only familiar with roses. But roses are so boring and monotonous. They are the Toyota flowers. They are easy to buy. Outside roses,most of us are lost. For the longest time possible I only knew roses,lilies,orchards and carnations. In the grand scheme of things it does not matter if you know their names or not,I think as long as it not a rose you are a step forward. I do not think I can survive the stares and judgements.

Well,later I’ve come to realize that I or rather we,are not alone,most men fell the same way as S. But being as petty as I am,I had to do the necessary…#if you know you know…*wink*20181106_153732.jpg

Turning an year older never felt so good.

The glorious thing about life is that every year we turn,a new version of us is revealed. Last year I made this list/resolutions  well,I’m not yet there but I’m almost. I thought why not share with you guys,you might want to borrow a tip or two….

1. BECOME BESTIES WITH MY MUM. As I get older,I realize more and more that my mum is human,she’s made mistakes, she is not flawless and she has alot of experience to share with me. The best part about being friends with your mum is that she loves you unconditionally even if you shock,scare or disappoint her,she’ll always be on your side.

2.LEARN TO STAND UP FOR MYSELF NO MASTER WHO I’M STANDING UP AGAINST. There is this book,”The help” by Abilene Clark which says, “You is beautiful,you is kind,you is smart,you is important so don’t let people treat you as if you aren’t”. Confrontation can breed anxiety but trust me it’s worth it and can be as simple as,”I don’t agree with that.”

3.GET SMART WITH MY MONEY. I’ve been following IG accounts,apps and bank accounts offers for advice on basic budget,savings and occasional splurges (don’t forget to treat yohself)

4.STAY INFORMED. Investing in what’s trending globally is all part of this “adulting” thing as I’ve come to learn. We all need to go outside our personal bubble.

5.LET EVERYONE I LOVE,KNOW EXACTLY HOW I FEEL. In the long run of life we become so busy and let those who mean alot to us sleep away. The past year if I never mentioned that I love you,then I don’t.

6……AND LET THOSE WHO DON’T LOVE ME FALL TO THE SIDE. Recognizing those people who take advantage of me and prevent me from being myself and freeing myself from them has been mind-healing. Let toxicity go.

7.I MADE A PLEDGE TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. Eating healthy,working out,positive thoughts and taking time to meditate has been my priority,in this way I feel happier and alot more confident.

8. BEING SAFE ALWAYS. The more you grow up,slowly your parents let go of you and it’s time you take charge of your own life. We all surely don’t want any unwelcome surprises,do we?

9. CHALLANGING MYSELF OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE. Settling into a routine can be so life destroying (for lack of a better word). Trying out new stuff and new adventures has provided me with learning platforms in my own small ways.

10. FALL IN LOVE WITH MYSELF. Accepting my imperfect life and being comfy in it is not something that happened overnight. I’ve had to work,build and maintain a relationship with myself.

11. TRYING TO AVOID PRESUMPTION AND JUDGEMENT. I’ve been so into giving people chances to show their best sides. You all should know that first,second and even third impressions can be misleading. But then again please know your limits.

12. MARINA KEEGAN’S “THE OPPOSITE OF LONELINESS” HAS BEEN MY LIFE’S GUIDE. If you’ve been through my posts and blogs I’m sure you can tell that I’m very passionate about everything I want but one thing you don’t know is that I’m very scared of the future. The book I’ve mentioned has taught me that the only way to come out on top is to remain yourself and never lose your fire. The best years of our lives are part of us.

Each new year we turn is special in it own way,different from the ones we’ve lived and comes with a free package of hope.

Love,Lizzie.20181011_124509.jpg

 

Tell your daughters

Tell your daughters how you love your body. Tell them how they must love their’s. Tell them to bemail proud of every bit of themselves from their tiger stripes to the flesh on their thighs,whether there is a little of them or alot. Tell them how every scar on their body is beautiful, however way it came to be. Tell them how these scars don’t define them but how they survived them does. Tell them how their eyes glow in the sun with hope every morning. Tell them that their eyes are windows to their souls. Tell them how much you see yourself in their eyes. Tell them every imperfection on their body is perfect.

Tell your daughters how beautiful they look when they smile and how cute they look in a frown. Tell them the reaction when they’re angry is exhilarating. Tell them how kind they are and how vulnerable they are when emotional. Tell them how excited they look when they try something new and how nervous the become when they don’t know what to do but also how powerful they look when they have achieved. Tell them you’re proud of their every emotion.

Tell your daughters that no one is perfect. Tell them it’s okay to break down sometimes. Tell them most of the times you yourself don’t know how to handle situations. Tell them weakness doesn’t last but passes away like the wind. Tell them that sometimes they’ll feel lost and seem to have failed in life. Tell them their value does not in any way decrease during these times.

Tell your daughters that not everyone who smiles at them wishes them good. Tell them of this world’s monsters. Tell them people they trust will hurt them. Tell them that people will try to take advantage of them at some point. Tell them to be careful who they give their heart to and where they invest their energy. Tell them you’ll be there to guide them all the way.

Tell your daughters they are strong and kind. Tell them how they inherited these traits ftom their ancestors. Tell them how their great grandma was highly regarded,let theme know they have values in their blood. Tell them not anyone or any situation should change who they are.

Finally,tell your daughters how unique they are and they don’t have to change that to fit in. Tell them how you love their personality. Tell them they shouldn’t be shamed for who they are. Tell them there is a place in the world for such beautiful soul. Tell them they are princesses in a queendom. Above all show them they are appreciated.2018-10-24 08.52.17.jpg

Hold on longer,it’s worth it.

The first time I felt conscious about my body weight was on a family outing,I was changing into my swim suit when I bumped into a mirror. My eyes felt heavy from all the body fat especially just below my bum. The fat there looked like it was struggling to fit into the suit with no success. Then this part below the armpit,oh my goodness!it folded into layers. Lastly my belly fat looked disgusting in my now tight costume. What was the worst feeling,I was only 17. My plans for the day were ruined. From there I knew I had only two options: accept and learn to love my body as it was or do something about the same. Well,I decided to keep both options open.

The first step,was to appreciate my flawed body. I wasn’t perfect anyway. I stop comparing my body to other people’s.  I changet my mindset from that of wanting to loose weight to wanting to take of myself better and trying something new to enhance my body image.

Secondly,I did a little adjustment to my diet. I begun taking proteins for one reason;they make you full easily so you don’t have to eat alot in short,they reduce food cravings. I love coffee because as much as it helps me relax,it helps in drop of calories. Then switch to  vegetables too. I also made a routine to drink lots of water and avoided sugary drinks they are the most fattening. Then I left out processed food for just once in a day because they cause over eating. So if you must do a cheat meal,do it once a week. Then I had to drop all carbs except sweet potatoes and oats. As long as you are indulging in carbs,no matter what you do,you’ll never go anywhere in your journey to loose weight. The last thing about dieting is I started and I still do eat my food slowly/moderately. This makes you more full and also boosts the weight reducing hormones.

Thirdly,and the most challenging is the cardiovascular work out. This depends on what you feel comfortable doing. Example,you can treadmill,work out in the gym,walking (helps in belly fat),jogging,running and also swimming. I choose treadmills,running and walking. At first, I felt as if it was too much,I wanted to quit so bad but the feeling of quitting made me hold on a lilttle longer. I had to wake up at 5 that’s because the sun ain’t out at that time. Then I was lucky to access the school’s gym at an affordable price (gym subscriptions are expensive),working out on the treadmill helped me alot though it left my whole body in excruciating pain. Lastly on cardio,I took advantage of any chance I got to walk rather than travel in a vehicle. It’s the easiest type of cardio and affordable too.

Samsung health comes in handy too. I borrowed a friend his equipment and this helped in tracking your hearth rates,stress levels and shows you the distances and keeps you up with your small achievements. Speaking of achievement,it’s really important to keep a list of those small wins and celebrate them. It’s not gonna be easy,it’s tough and many times you’ll feel like giving up but when that happens,stop and remind yourself why you set out on the journey in the first place and the results you anticipate. That picture below, that’s the first time I went out swimming after my weight loss. So GO! GO! GO!FB_IMG_1537551530108.jpg